Tori Spelling Says She ‘Found’ Herself on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ Amid ‘Really Public Divorce’

As a competitor on Dancing With the Stars, Tori Spelling is getting better. During the season 33 premiere on Tuesday, September 17, 51-year-old Spelling revealed to her partner Pasha Pashkov that she had turned down the chance to participate in the reality competition series for the previous 32 seasons. Spelling brought up her divorce from Dean McDermott in response to the question of what was different this time. “My life exploded when [turning] fifty hit.” “I’m going through a very public divorce,” the former member of Beverly Hills, 90210 disclosed. “I really want to discover who I am again.”

After over 18 years of marriage, Spelling filed for divorce from McDermott, 57, in March, citing irreconcilable differences. She informed the cameras after the breakup, “Everything I thought I was has been burned to the ground.” When Spelling was asked to choose her own dance song for the first episode, she said, “If I am going to fall, I’m going to catch myself because I trust me,” and she chose P!nk’s “Trustfall.” Then, during her and Pashkov’s Foxtrot, the actress gave it her all. Derek Hough dubbed the performance “a little stiff,” and Bruno Tonioli said Spelling has “a lot of work to do.” Despite the criticism from the judges, however, Spelling was beaming when she spoke with cohost Julianne Hough following the dance.

“I located her! With a victorious fist pump, Spelling remarked, “It only took me 51 years to reconnect with myself.” Then, with excitement, she leaped up and down, saying that she is “really out of her comfort zone” to be on the show. Liam, 17, Stella, 16, Hattie, 12, Finn, 12, and Beau, 7, are the five children that Spelling and McDermott have together. In April, Spelling discussed a phobia that prevented her from divorcing earlier in a podcast episode titled “misSPELLING.”

“I feel like in our world it’s difficult to be with a man and have him not feel emasculated,” she added, which may have contributed to her decision to remain longer. This is one of her biggest anxieties. “I have guilt.” In what way will my status prevent me from feeling inferior to a man if we ever get together?

During this season of Dancing With the Stars, Spelling is not the only contestant trying to get over a breakup. Jenn Tran is competing as well; earlier this month, she made public her breakup with ex-fiance Devin Strader on The Bachelorette: After the Final Rose. During her and Strader’s separation, Tran, 26, admitted, “I honestly felt like my heart was getting ripped out of my chest,” during the DWTS premiere. “I’m here now, a little revenge in tow.”